The Morning Lesson | LK Sharma

(The following for understanding Indian media without consulting learned American journals: Editor)

Brahmamuhurt is the best
time to learn. At that sacred
hour before sunrise, the
Goddess of wisdom is in a
mood to give generously.

This morning, as usual, my
online education is making
me information-rich and wiser.

I learn that Anushka Sharma
is pregnant and glowing. Sana
Khan loved and married Anas
for the sake of Allah. The
marriage may seem crowded
to some. But Sana wants to be
united with her husband in the
next life too. She is sure they
both would be in one place.
Faith moves mountains, two
mortal bodies is a child’s play.

I learn that Prabhudeva tied
the knot with Himani. This
morning, for a change, there
is no report of a knot being
untied in blessed Bollywood.
I learn Deepika Padukone
said Happy Birthday to
Kartik Aaryan. Samantha
left for Maldives with her
very own dear husband.
When she reaches, she will
find a bikini-clad Sonakshi
Sinha lying on the beach.

I learn more about art by
peeping into the London
home of Priyanka Chopra.

I understand Govinda better
since he warned someone
against washing dirty linen.

Learnt that things were going
rather well between Anita
and Vicky as they were
caught dancing together.

Another moving story this
morning is of Richa and Ali
moving into a sea-facing
apartment. Economic dailies
highlight Richa’s statement
that she is not buying a new
property due to the sad state
of the real estate market.

Love Jihad Weekly editorial
on this development will be
cited by a noted political
scientist in his column.

I await an analysis of the Goa
photos of Nidhi in a bikini
in the middle of the sea and
its spill-over effects. The Met
Department reports a sudden
rise in sea temperature and
Cartosat imagery captures
changed sea colour caused
by her plunge into blue waters.

Tara Sutaria teaches me
the swimsuit design and
colour that go with her
body bulk and shade.

Malaika Arora takes me
further in this class by
demonstrating grey tank
top and white biker shorts
in a stylish gym look.

The lesson being online,
I am unable to feel the
fabric and body to learn
about the texture. Soon,
technology will let
students touch and feel.

Have to study the text of
romantic notes exchanged
between Raj and Shilpa.
Get a glimpse of Shilpa’s
daughter liked by millions
of fans busy commenting
on her look and gestures.

Some fresh literature is
released on the life of
Taimur Khan after his
star mother announced
her second pregnancy.

I brush up on Taimur’s
meaning and find that
searching for Sharmila
Tagore’s grandson on
the net is the best way
of learning geography
as well as history.

As to future, I read some
speculative articles on
little Taimur becoming a
hero when he grows up.

History comes alive as
illustrated in photos of
Tahira and Ayushman
in their college days.

Get to know from Anil
Kapoor the date and year
of his honeymoon with
Sunita. I had no record.

As to now, I note that
Disha has at last sent
her reply to Rahul
Vaidya’s marriage
proposal. Will know
more after studying
its text next week when
it is released online by
a rival instructor.

Having studiously gone
through several reports, I
am not sure whether Disha
and Rahul are more than
“just best friends”.

Commentators fail to
commit themselves.
Newspapers will have
the answer tomorrow
from reliable sources or
from the horse’s mouth.

An in-depth report in an
English daily that Disha
has denied being engaged
to Rahul has confused me.
The daily claims that
by refuting the rumour,
Disha has cleared the air.
Not very convincing.
I still see a dense fog.
Have to go through the
exhaustive report titled
“All you want to know
about Rahul Vaidya.”

There are multiple Dishas.
Which Disha is this?
Parmar, Patni, Salian or
Vakani. Can’t be the one
who left this world. They
send no reply from the
other world. And no one
ever proposes to someone
living in the other world.
I will identify this Disha
by going through the online
data on her height, weight,
the bust and shoe sizes.

Homework follows the
online class. Google
solves the Disha problem
to an extent. I learn of
her age, her place of birth,
names of her pet, her
ex-boyfriends and her
latest marital status.

As an authority on Disha
I shall be fully ready to
lecture to the novitiates
joining my online class
this evening. Have to
answer their probing
questions on actress
Leena Acharya, who
passed away in very
normal circumstances.

But a Bollywood death
now requires a detailed
cogent and convincing
explanation, calling for
very tough preparation
before the online lecture.

For a brilliant student
interested in politics,
I have to study serious
implications of the now
revealed ties between a
living film actor and the
dead Sena Supremo of
Bombay whose party
has now come to power.

I deposit several gems
in my information bank
for future use. One bit
to be used tomorrow is
about a new liquid that
removes 99.9 per cent.
of coronavirus, from
any mouth after just
30 seconds of rinsing.

Learning never ends.
Continues life-long.

by L K Sharma